Nothing.

Your past is one significant part of your present life.

Then I miss my past a little. I miss those feeling of loving someone so badly, so faithfully, so pure and so true. I miss the way I love him with no doubt, carelessly in love without caring of the possibilities of my heart into breaking. I miss to fell in love with my Giraffe.

But he's no longer mine. I wish i could say that, but he's never been mine.

So now I had my Goat. But sometimes there is a time when I think that I'm only his present girlfriend. Sometimes I feel so sad, sometimes I feel nothing. In relationship with him is like a roller coaster, up and down. I don't know what coming next. I don't know what's on his mind.

So I love two person at the same time right now. One is my longest past, and one is my present-real boyfriend. Giraffe never hold my hand, kiss me, hold me into his arms. But Goat? He had doing so much for me. He treat me good (not to remember those bad memories when he don't), he was nursing me when I'm ill, he kiss me goodnight, he reminds me that I still have a heart after a slow heartbreak with Giraffe. He makes me smile, he cheer me up, he makes me feel worthed to love, he makes me see some future with him, even if it's still blur.

I can't make myself choose one at this moment. I love Giraffe, but Goat's much better than him for he take me as I am and he's real. But I can't just love Goat, for Giraffe will always be a part of me. So confused. For now, I'm trying my best to be the best girlfriend for Goat. And at the same moment, i try my best, too, to my career, trying to get a place, a job in future in Singapore.. which is a dream I made when I was so damn in love with Giraffe cause he's living in there.

Gee.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

He said he likes me, so I'm not single anymore cause we're officially in love right now.

So yes, he prove it that he loves me. He told me so many sweets words, so many touches and kisses and hugs. He told me that he won't let me go, that he will protect me as he could, and something like that.

For a sec, I feel damn happy. But the very next minutes, I wonder if he's kidding. Could he love someone like ME? I'm the plain, bored, chubby girl with crooked teeth and so many minus point. Yes, he's not that perfect but it seems like perfection is a very important thing and reasons for me to have something precious.. like someone who likes me. Thank God I'm in love with someone who loves me back.

But if somebody loves you, Whitney Houston sings, will they always loves you?

Tonight you're mine completely and you give your love so sweetly, Amy Winehouse sings the cover of Carole King's song, but will you still love me tomorrow?

Can I believe in guy's mouth? Words he said after he kiss my lips? Words he sent to me by phone? Words he said when there's only two of us in a quiet room?

I wan't to believe it, trust me, I'm dying to give my heart completely. Maybe it sounds idiot and yes, I don't mind if you call me The Best of Fools, but I'm the type who could love so deeply once I fell in love with someone. When I'm truly madly deeply in love, I would pray for him day and night and devote myself, my thoughts, my love and life for it. yes, I'm the Queen of Fools.

I want to believe his words, cause I'm actually believe it. But I don't believe it with all my hearts, cause there's a part of me who keep telling me not to believe it so easily. In case he broke my heart, I would never be the same and the pain will kills me. I couldn't take the disappointed of broken heart anymore. I won't feel that anymore, I won't that feelings haunted me every day and night and makes me feels like my body is broken too when my heart in vain.

So.. When the right time to believe?