My Karma

I almost believe in him.

Pals told me not to believe him so easily but somehow I can't help myself. This holiday is a misery cause I can't see his face and his smiling face to me, nor I can't hear his voice, his laugh in my ears. We're only texting and it's weird cause I can't feel the emotion. I feel bad then.

Today I check my twitter account and I found that he mention me. He said, "still love you until my last breath".

For a moment I feels so happy cause he said something cheesy like that. But then I;m thinking to myself, is he really meant it? Is it jargon or something that he actually feel? And even if he actually mean it, will he still feel that way after days, weeks and months?

I got a complicated story with so fast time before I'm officially his and he officially mine. We met when he was in relationship with a girl.. And when he met me, he said he fell for me. I feel the same way too but when I found out that he's taken, I decided to give up cause I never thought someone like him will look at me, a plain girl like me. Then our mutual friend could see the situation between us, how we getting closer everyday, what I feel to him and what he feel for me, she knew his status and the truth that it's not easy for me to like someone after suffering for so long. She asked what's on his mind and he said he chose me, then he wants me to wait and give him some time to break up with his girlfriend.

Then he break up, soon he ask me to be his. I can never think of any other option but 'yes' cause I fell for him and I want him to be mine, too. I told my old pals about this, cause I never want to hide anything from my friends, then one of them said something.. real. A truth. Karma will back to me.

She said, "If he could left his girl so easily for you, he.."

I nodded as I continue her words with my own mouth, "He could leave me so easily, too. Sooner or later."

"Smart girl. You should be ready for your karma."

"I wish. But I hope I get my karma in other subject."

I should be ready for my karma, though I clearly realized that it's his decision to left the girl for me, not me. I was said I'll wait patiently. I never hurry him when relationship was a taboo subject for us.

But still, sooner or later. Either he left me, I left. I wish we'll lasts, but more than everything, I wish the best for us though it probably hurts. Rainbow will still waiting for me somewhere, with or without him.